What is "Clueless Sex"?

By definition, clueless sex is sexual activity in the absence of informed self-awareness. Clueless sex holds you hostage to misinformation, anxious missteps, and the control of partners whose interests oppose yours.

Are you wondering where you fit in this picture? We encourage you to take this self-test. It will provide crucial clues.

1.  Has sex disappointed you recently? Yes | No
2.  Do you wonder why you expect so much from sex in the first place? Yes | No
3.  Do you worry that you might not be ready for what you're getting into sexually? Yes | No
4.  Do you frequently just want a date, when your partner wants a whole lot more? Or want love, when your partner wants sex? Or sex, when your partner wants a relationship? Yes | No
5.  Does having sex feel like running a marathon? Do you ever wish it would just end? Yes | No
6.  Do you and your partner compete to see who'll finish first? Yes | No
7.  Do you have "recipe sex"? When you're in bed, can you close your eyes and know what your partner is going to do next? Yes | No
8.  Did you ever have sex so your partner wouldn't leave you? Yes | No
9.  Do you frequently pretend to enjoy sex? Do you fake orgasms? Yes | No
10.  Have your recently lied to your partner in bed? Yes | No
11.  Do you or your partner need drugs, alcohol, the Internet, or videos to make sex easier or more exciting? Yes | No
12.  Do you or your partner ever have problems becoming excited enough to have sex? Yes | No
13.  Does sex hurt? Yes | No
14.  Do you or your partner have a medical or physical condition that makes sex difficult? Yes | No
15.  Is sex something you try to avoid? Yes | No
16.  Do you think your partner might need to hurt, control, or take advantage of you to make sex more exciting? Yes | No
17.  Do you enjoy being hurt, controlled, or taken advantage of? Yes | No
18.  Has it ever proven hard for you to see problems in your relationships soon enough to protect yourself from being hurt? Yes | No
19.  Would a partner need to leave you before you left, even if both of you knew the relationship wasn't working? Yes | No
20.  Do you have to struggle to protect yourself from people who want to use you sexually? Yes | No
21.  Are you afraid or reluctant to talk to anyone about any aspect of your sex life? Yes | No
22.  Are you ashamed or embarrassed about any part of your sex life? Yes | No
23.  Do you know how high-tech sex could enhance or destroy your relationship? Yes | No

How many Yes answers did you come up with? Each indicates two things. One is how experienced in sex you are. The other is the extent to which your sex life could be enriched by reading our book: No More Clueless Sex: Ten Secrets to a Sex Life that Works for Both of You.

Let's be very clear about this up front - and be honest with yourself. Sex may be working fine for your partner. It may even feel good enough to you. But every Yes you marked is clear testimony that it could be better, and so could your relationships that involve sex. Like millions of other people, you're showing signs of being experienced in sex but clueless in love.